Dude woke up because he heard his car revving up.  The guy runs out, stark naked, hops in the passenger seats and asks the thief where they’re going.  He got out and ran off, but still…

You gotta know that’s gonna make one helluva, “this one time, when I was sleeping” story.

I find the weirdest stuff.

~watergirl~

Pulled over for “illegally-tinted windows”, she was caught with her pants unzipped and a “sex toy” in her lap.  She was charged with “driving with inappropriate alertness”.

Now, I dunno about y’all – but if I’m masturbating?  I’m NOT focusing on anything else.  At all.  Ever.

~watergirl~

While I don’t condone the mouth smackage, I *DO* believe a number of the girls in the Lindsay Lohan-Paris Hilton-Britney Spears club need a serious wakeup call.

Make them ACTUALLY do the time they’re sentenced to, instead of treating them with bambi-skin kid gloves.

Make them downsize their lives.  Start with credit cards, drivers’ licenses, clothes, shoes, jewelry, etc.  Donate it to a womens’ shelter, Goodwill, the Salvation Army. 

Teach them some humility.

Yeah.  That’ll happen. 

Are pigs flying yet?

~watergirl~

Won’t happen.  As we’ve seen with Britney and Lindsay, as well as many others, these people don’t live by the same rules as the rest of us.

TMZ

CNN

~watergirl~

She deserves to die.  If there’s any justice, the autopsy will uncover antifreeze in her system.

~watergirl~

I firmly believe that this is why animals bite their owners…and that every person who does this SHOULD be bitten.

~watergirl~

Holy waistline, Batman!

Among the usual suspects of fried cheese, corn dogs, funnel cakes, candy bars, soda, you will also run into the following:

• Peanut Butter, Jelly and Banana sandwiches
• Margaritas (Pass: I’ll take my frozen.  This is Texas, after all!)
• Texas Caviar (Black eyed peas are nasty as hell – WHY would you FRY this??)
• Frito Pie (GAG)
• S’mores Pop-Tart (This has potential!)
• Chocolate
• Lemonade (This is Texas – why the hell would you fry something meant to keep you COOL?)
• Fernie’s Fried Club Salad
• Beer
• Ice Cream (see my Lemonade comment)
• Latte (As in COFFEE?!?!? WTH….)
• Cookie Dough
• Banana Split (How dare you ruin a nanner split?!?)
• Chicken Fried Bacon
• Butter (whoever thought of this should be beaten senseless)
• Fernie’s Deep Fried Peaches & Cream

Here is the list of the 2009 Choice Awards for fried foods at the Fair.

No wonder the U.S.A. is the most obese nation…

And by the way…Texas isn’t the only “OMG I need a heart-attack-on-a-stick” state – Oregon is also taking steps towards this. 

Screw that noise.  I’ll stick with my funnel cake and go my merry way.

~watergirl~

P.S.  Enjoy the haunted house they put together.  It’s somewhat cheesy for most adults but kids seem to like it.  Plus, there’s a funnel cake stand close by. 

Nom nom nom.

I find the weirdest shit…

~watergirl~

Seriously, was there ever a question about this?

Be straight.  Be gay.  Be tranny.  I don’t care.

Be honest.

If you’re interested in MMPR, No Pink Spandex has interviews and stuff.

I still have nightmares about a McDonald’s parking lot, summertime heat, and Power Rangers…

~watergirl~

And yet, my ex…

Theresa Gail Robbins “allegedly” killed co-worker Greg Brasch Robbins because:

God wanted her to “distribute the world order information.”

~watergirl~